Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps

I am a huge fan of the first Wall Street installment so I was pretty excited when I seen this come out. I guess I thought I would get more vintage Gordon Gekko, Bud Fox and his busted high priced girlfriend. Turns out it's another two decades late sequel with that clown Shaia LeBeouf front and center. I thought Michael Douglas, Josh Brolin and a soundtrack by David Byrne could save it but it's not enough.

The story takes place in 2008 whilst investors were getting fucked out of their money in ways I will never fully understand. It involves all the buzzwords... toxic loans, credit default swaps, etc. The whole story was forced to fit the events of 2008... and I mean forced. I don't want to get too far into it because the movie isn't really worth talking about but in the end...

Gordon Gekko develops enough of a conscience to invest $100 mil that he stole from his daughter and her wall street exec boyfriend(LeBeouf)in a renewable energy company that the boyfriend was trying to attract investors to the whole movie. This delights the daughter who is pregnant. The plot also involves Josh Brolin's character who, as far as I can gather, is making money off the failure of his own company. In the end Shaia LeBeouf writes a piece for his girlfriends homegrown liberal website exposing him and putting him on the hot seat with the SEC. This delights Gordon Gekko. These common victories unite the three in the end and they all seemingly reconcile any differences they may have had with each other.

Back to the Future Trilogy

I'm going to see if I can break this trilogy down to its bare essentials. The problem was that the sound on my television was going in and out but I believe I got the gist of it.

Back to the Future I

A young man plans to have sex with his girlfriend at a lake until he realizes his parents wrecked the car, preventing him from taking that trip. He takes a series of time warps through alternate universes. Arriving back in his own time, he is presented with a brand new car from his seemingly body snatched parents. Just as the plan to have sex with his girlfriend by the lake seems to be back on track they are abducted by an aging scientist in an apparent power play to steal the girlfriend and have sex with her...somewhere in time!

Back to the Future II

The scientist and the young man take the girl to the future where the scientist gives the girl a roofie. Just as the scientist is about to have sex with her in an alley he is distracted by the young man and what is later revealed to be a porno magazine. While they quarrel over the magazine the girl is taken into custody of the police. After a series of time warps the young man arrives back in his own time with the girl and after an avoided road rage incident he presumably has sex with the girl by the lake as originally planned.

Back to the Future III

The final film shifts focus to the scientist who goes back in time to satisfy his penchant for unkempt vagina.

Frozen

Two guys, one girl. Two of them sexually involved the other an apparent masturbator. They go skiing and bribe the chairlift operator to let them take one last trip down the mountain. Some poor communication between employees leaves the trio stranded on their way up the mountain after the resort closes for the week. They get desperate and the boyfriend jumps from the chairlift. His legs endure double compound fractures and are left splayed out beside him.

And out come the wolves... no doubt attracted by his grotesque injury. They devour him.

The remaining two skiers cycle between encouraging each other to hang in there, tears and the blame game for what seems like forever. Finally, the other makes it down and takes off to get help but is chased by wolves and killed. Another day later the chairlift breaks dropping the girl onto the mountain and breaking her leg... reinforcing the already huge settlement she is bound to get. She crawls down the mountain, eludes the wolves and is picked up by a good samaritin.

Movie is basically Open Water on mountain. You can watch it on fast forward, you won't miss anything important in the dialogue. I didn't give a fuck about the characters.

St. Elmo's Fire

I had put off seeing this for about twenty-five years but I had an idle two hours to watch this past weekend. This is a story of college friends trying to transition into the real world post-college and for some odd reason have an extremely difficult time doing so. The tale is punctuated by chain smoking, excessive hard liquor consumption, cocaine, wild saxophone solos and many sexual miscues. In the end their friendships come full circle and leave them a little wiser for the wear. I didn't identify with any of these characters or their dilemmas.