Halloween (the Rob Zombie remake)

It's been quite a while since I updated this blog and with good reason - I've decided to waste my time watching Battlestar Galactica, the Sci-Fi channel's remake of the 70s series that I apparently used to watch as a child but cannot remember to save my life. It's great, and reminded me of another remake I watched recently and decided I needed to tell you all about.

Rob Zombie's Halloween.

Horror film remakes typically blow. We all know that. I just paused for about 60 seconds to think of one that didn't, and I came up with nothing. Texs Chainsaw was awful, that one about retarded mutants in the desert was garbage...I'm not going to continue. RZ's (I'm LAZY) Halloween continues in the fine tradition of wasting tons of studio money and my time. I liked RZ's two previous efforts, so I figured 'WHAT THE HELL'. And do I ever regret it. This film's fatal flaw is how inconceiveably boring it was. It's not until well after an hour into this that Micheal Myers escapes from the looney bind and goes after whomever it was he was all about killing. I can't even remember. I was more into revising my monthly budget than sitting through anymore of this shit, so I turned it off and called it a night. Thanks Rob. This was your cinematic version of John Bush-era Anthrax. I'm sure Micheal Myers kills a bunch of people with a kitchen knife, gets shot nine times before falling out a second storey window, and then mysteriously vanishes, thus setting up for the sequel-remake which I will castrate myself before watching.