Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of Insufferable Disappointment

My decades long fantasy to one day wake up as Indiana Jones has now been replaced by a days long fantasy to have Steven Speilberg personally apologize to me for making the most recent Indiana Jones farce. It was incredibly bad and leads me to wonder what any critic who had even the slightest positive remark to scribble about it saw in it.

I had so many problems with this pile of leavings that I don't know where to start and refuse to dwell on further, so let's get the key powpoints out of the way:

Shia LeBeouf turns out to be the child of Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenwood. They were set to be married until Indy ran out at the 11th hour.

The main plot involves aliens. The ending finds Indiana Jones, 'Mutt' and Marion returning the cystal skull to the alien temple, which fires up a dimensional portal that claims Cate Blanchett's character in a way far too similar to the death of the lead villian in the original film, before swallowing up the temple and surrounding city.

Finally, as Dr. Jones, his son, and Marion look on from their escape, a UFO comes out of the ground and flies off into space, or as some other random character informs us - into another dimension, the 'space between spaces'.

In the closing scenes , Indiana Jones and Marion are married. I almost puked.

I suppose Goerge Lucas couldn't rest until he'd tainted two great series of films that most people my age still highly enjoy. Way to go, pal...and in case he needs to be reminded, Sylvester Stallone did an exponentially better job of resurrecting and making more enjoyable films out of two dormant series that paled in comparison to the original Indiana Jones trilogy. Yes, Rambo was more plausible and entertaining that this dud.