Them

I'm guessing this was more or less a toned down version of Micheal Haneke's Funny Games (had I bothered to actually watch Funny Games when I rented it I'd be able to much more clearly state how much it has in common with Them. It sat on my coffee table for about two weeks before I decided that I probably wouldn't be in the proper mood watch it anytime soon).

Them focuses on one night in the life of a French couple living somewhere in Eastern Europe. If I've learned anything from horror films released over the last few years, Eastern Eupore seems to be a land plagued by roaming gangs of sadistic kidnappers, hellbent on abducting and torturing the life out of the innocent in the most inventively evil ways. Seems like there's also an incredible nightlife available for the twenty-something traveller, as well. I suppose you need to make sacrifices and let the good come with the bad.

Clemetine and Lucas, our unfortunate couple, live in a secluded mansion somewhere in Bulgaria or Ukraine. I can't tell these places apart. The plot, evidently based on 'true events' revolves around our pair of handsome French ex-pats succumbing to the violent urges of a group of local childrens' desire for 'play'. I'd like to see a film make based on the true events in the one night of my life I was kept up all night after eating $10 worth of food from my neighbrohood taqueria. I'm sure it would be equally terrifying to this turd. In the same way I believe I'll never again eat a huitlacoche quesadilla, I think I'm finished renting french horror movies.